Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Week Twenty-One

it dawned on me the other day that i was actually devoting more Worry Brain Cells to things like:
-how to deal with a baby registry when you just want people to give you their kids' used stuff and not buy anything
-learning you get massive cankles after a walking epidural (my neighbour just had her first baby and is being very honest)
-if i get a footstool for the new easy chair will that work for nursing?
-where will we put my desk if we get a crib?
-you mean we have to find the best crib/carseat/stroller/nursing pillow/changing pad/cloth diapers or not/MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING
-argh, i need to get new bras...again.
-what do i want for a baby shower? how would i know? this is like my wedding: i didn't start thinking about it until it was actually needing to happen.
- oh dear, i need to record the husbanator talking to the baby in German and play it through headphones against my belly every morning. this should have happened yesterday!!
-will i really be able to eat rice again once Tummymuffin IV is here?

okay, sure. maybe these are typical concerns for a woman who's passed the halfway mark in her gestation. but this all feels kind of surreal to me, because it means that somehow i'm not spending as many Worry Brain Cells on:
-is Tummymuffin IV still alive?
-will i see a heartbeat again at the next ultrasound?
-did i somehow just do something obscure that will massively compromise TM4's health/life?
-can i really possibly still be pregnant with a live baby?
-will i ever stop feeling that jolt of fear when i think about loving this baby?

the transition from these deep-seated fears to more mundane, chittering worries is almost amusing to me as keep-you-up-at-night anxieties are stealthily replaced by crap about things called Boppy or Graco. i'm not so naive as to think that those fears, so familiar to any woman who's carried and lost a child, will ever be gone or replaced. but it makes me realise that an emotional place i formerly saw as unimaginable is happening to me now.
meanwhile, any suggestions about essential baby gear is appreciated. and any explanations as to why someone would pay $1200 for a stroller. (!?!?!?!)

10 comments:

Ms. Jen said...

Register at Target. Worry not.

Ha! Ready for bras.... ha! Got some 36Ds somewhere...

;o)

Anonymous said...

AWESOME POST! Made me grin from ear to ear on many levels.

For those of us who live far away, do we get to see a picture of cute pregnant you sometime?!? (hint hint)

KDMK

Sarah said...

I don't have kids, but my parents had an ingenious idea -- skip buying a changing table and get a dresser you can reach the top of comfortably. My dad added "roll molding" on three sides to keep me from taking a flyer off it. The one they used was second-hand and they painted it to match my bedroom after my dad added the side pieces. They kept diapers, wipes, etc in the top drawer, and once I was out of diapers it just became a regular old dresser, which was around for years. The only thing I would pay big money for is a carseat. The bigger and more expensive a stroller is, the harder it is to fold up or maneuver anywhere you want to use it (try taking one of those giant ones through a farmers' market...umbrella strollers all the way!).

Allison said...

The stroller costs a fortune because the good ones really are just immeasurably better than the cheap ones. (Says the woman broke 3 or 4 cheap strollers.) Our super-stroller was awesome, fit into public elevators, lasted years, and was passed down to neighbors who are STILL using it today. (5+ years of use = awesome.) Maybe not $1200 worth of awesome... I think ours was about 1/3 of that.

Allison said...

Putting the footstool by the easy chair will help with nursing, but you won't really know for sure until you start doing it for real.

Second the recommendation on the lack of changing table... we used a dresser-top with strap-on pad and it worked great!

Anonymous said...

You could register at the standard places and include a note saying that you'd also appreciate any of the items used. I did that once. Very very few accommodate that, but perhaps those who know you best and don't have their own issues with it will do it.

I hope a wipe warmer is included. That kid's bottom deserves nothing less. :D

I'll send a message with my "favorite essentials" list. It's a quagmire to navigate...some of it's brain bomb, but it's the funnest sort!

Hug your belly for me!

Christine E.

hadashi said...

thank you, all of you! i've already cleared out an existing dresser that will become a changing table/baby clothes & diapers storage thingy. keep the suggestions coming! i'll have to get that stroller name...

Julianne Harvey said...

Ah, the baby gear wars. I remember those. It's the beginning of endless ridiculous competition among moms for who has the best dressed/equipmented/behaved offspring.

Opt out now. You won't regret it. Be aware that if you opt in, it never ends and gets worse when they become school-aged.

I love that you are questioning why people would pay $1200 for a stroller. It means you are on the right path already. I'm highly competitive by nature and got sucked into it with my first child, but completely opted out with my second, and I'm much happier and more content now.

Professor Valentine said...

Ok, I had footstool envy when I stayed with Eubanks and they had one. It helped me a lot when I nursed. Only thing is, the swinging kind eventually becomes a hazard when the baby starts to crawl and you have to put it away for awhile.

As for the other stuff - for the infant phase - a rolling bassinet is great b/c you can just wheel the baby around like they do in hospital. We kept the kids in there for AS LONG AS possible (about 4/5 months).

Then we just got a crib in the baby room. We never bought stuff unless we needed to and strictly on an "as needed basis." There are a lot of pre-owned shops out there but with the baby shower coming, I guess you can ask for a crib?

In the end, the kids slept with us (which "they" say not to) - it was really convenient b/c of the regular feedings. I just had to roll over and nurse and then sleep. But I did have to sleep with my arm stretched out with the baby under my arm. It was achy.

Changing table - is overrated. A sturdy bureau is good - you can just put the changing pad on top of it. I liked the kind that had little sides (a "U" shape) b/c that prevented the tyke from trying to roll/turn over. It worked for #1 but it was useless for #2 once she started to turn over- After that, it was always changing on the floor with my leg over her squirmy body.

Is this TMI?

hadashi said...

NONE OF THIS IS TMI!!! keep the wisdom coming! thank you!